2017 © Eric Christopher Webb
No one can make another whole.
When we look outside ourselves for solutions or for personal growth, we commit ourselves to an illusion and set ourselves up for failure. While others may inspire or motivate us, it is we who are the intrinsic ingredient in us becoming who we are meant to be.
We have to decide that we want to be better or that we want to be more. If we designate that authority to others, we excuse our responsibility to change and continue to rationalize why we have not.
Ultimately, we remain in a holding pattern since we have relinquished control of our destinies and wait for personal messiahs to save us. They never come, but those who do are those who search for and are attracted to needy people. These would-be saviors are guided by their own need to control others or to remake them in their own image.
They have a god-complex, and thus, our relationship with them becomes a Pygmalion-like tale.
When we welcome these types of people into our lives, we are grateful at first, but later become bitter and resentful of the power they wield over us.
How dare they tell us what is good for us? We can make our own decisions now.
In the end, we become dolls in their elaborate game of house. They tell us what to wear. They tell us what to eat. They tell us what we should be interested in. They reject and select our friends, all while telling us how and where we should socialize. They don’t introduce us to new experiences, but rather they dictate them.
When we allow others to supposedly complete us, by definition, we are no longer are ourselves. We have absorbed the identity and values of someone else. During the process, our own interests are and have been ignored since unconsciously through their invitation we have subsequently declared we cannot trust ourselves or our own judgement.
The WordsByWebb blog distributes a weekly quotation and reflection every Tuesday from National Black Authors Tour bestselling author and multi-talented writer Eric Christopher Webb (E.WEBB?!) to inspire, motivate and encourage personal development of its readers. The blog also regularly shares news, updates, new poetry and excerpts of the writer’s latest work. Webb, a spoken word artist, former Washington News Correspondent for Thomson Newspapers and nationally-syndicated Soul Searching columnist, has also been featured in movies, music videos, commercials and literary documentaries on HBO, BET Weekend’s Evening of Spoken Word, BET’s Rap City, Video Jukebox, The Party Machine, The Learning Channel, Voice of America and XM Radio. He is the author of five books, including "The Garvey Protocol: Inspired By True Events," a 2013 Phillis Wheatley Book Award Finalist for First Fiction and the National Black Authors Tour bestseller, "Love Letters, Death Threats & Suicide Notes." He has also contributed to numerous anthologies, journals and magazines.
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